How to Prepare for Your Family Court Hearing: A Practical Guide for Litigants in Person

Representing yourself in family court can be daunting. Whether you're dealing with child arrangements or financial matters, the process is emotionally charged and legally complex. The family court system can feel rigid and impersonal, especially if you're unfamiliar with legal procedures.

Organisation and clarity make all the difference.

But being a litigant in person doesn't mean you're at a disadvantage, so long as you prepare with focus and purpose.

Here’s some practical and strategic advice for preparing for your Family Court hearing, to help you present your case with clarity and credibility, even without legal representation.

Understand What Kind of Hearing You're Attending

Not all Family Court hearings are created equal. Before anything else, make sure you know what type of hearing you’re attending. Is it a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA)? A directions hearing? A fact-finding hearing? A Financial Dispute Resolution (FDR) hearing? A final hearing? Each has a different purpose and a different focus: 

• Early hearings are generally about identifying the issues and managing the evidence.

  
  

• Fact-finding hearings resolve disputed facts (especially where there are allegations of harm or abuse).

  
  

• Final hearings decide the outcome of your case.

Understanding where you are in the court process helps you prepare for what’s next

Knowing the purpose of the hearing helps you understand what the court will expect from you, so you can prepare accordingly and avoid going in with the wrong mindset or the wrong paperwork.

Prepare Your Paperwork -  And Keep It Focused

Judges expect documents to be well-organised, relevant, and proportionate. That doesn’t mean they expect perfection - but they do expect you to avoid overwhelming them with hundreds of pages of irrelevant material.

Here’s some key documents you’ll need: 

• Prepare a position statement

  A short document, explaining what you want the court to do and why. Stick to facts and focus on what the court needs to decide. Avoid emotional language or unnecessary attacks on the other party (or their lawyer).

• Chronology 

  A list of key events with dates (for example, the start of the relationship, dates of birth, separation, significant incidents, etc.). Try to agree this in advance with the other party if you can.

• Any supporting documents

  These might include school records, police reports, or medical letters. Only include documents that are genuinely relevant to your case and to the particular hearing.

Keep everything in a clearly labelled folder or tabbed sections. Judges appreciate clarity - they have a heavy caseload and little patience for unnecessary paperwork or disorganisation.

The Importance of the Hearing Bundle

If you're asked to prepare or contribute to the court bundle, take this seriously - it’s one of the most important documents in your case. The hearing bundle contains all the documents the judge will rely on during the hearing, and it must comply with Practice Direction 27A to the Family Procedure Rules 2010. This sets strict limits on the size, structure, and contents of the bundle (by default, no more than 350 pages).

Submitting a clear, paginated, and properly indexed bundle shows that you’re organised and respectful of the court’s time. Overloading the bundle with irrelevant or repeated material can make it harder for the judge to focus on the key facts of your case. Stick to documents that directly support your argument.

If the other party is preparing the bundle, check it carefully to ensure it fairly reflects the documents you rely on. Notify the judge promptly at the start of the hearing if something critical is missing.

Understand the Law (at least the basics)

You’re not expected to become a specialist overnight, but having a basic understanding of the legal principles which apply to your type of case is invaluable.

If your case involves children, for example, the court’s paramount concern is always the child’s welfare. The judge will consider factors from what’s known as the “welfare checklist” found at section 1(4) of the Children Act 1989, which include:

• the child’s wishes and feelings

• their physical, emotional, and educational needs

• the likely effect of any change in their circumstances

• the capability of each parent

• any risk of harm

If your case involves finances, the court’s focus will be on the considerations at section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. These include the parties’ income, needs, contributions, and standard of living.

Being familiar with what the judge is required to take into account shows you’ve done your homework and helps you frame your case in the right terms.

Stay Respectful and Measured – Even When it’s Hard!

One of the most consistent pieces of feedback from judges is that self-representing parties sometimes struggle with tone. That’s understandable: you’re personally invested, and the stakes are high. But it’s important to present yourself as rational, cooperative, and focused. A respectful tone doesn’t mean being passive - it means being constructive, even when you’re making a firm or difficult point.

Speaking directly to the judge with confidence, respect and focus is key

Avoid:

• Interrupting

• Making accusations without evidence

• Using inflammatory or sarcastic language in court or written documents

Instead:

• Speak directly to the judge and not to the other party (or their lawyer)

• Stick to the facts

• Stay calm - even if provoked

Judges are human. If you come across as thoughtful, respectful, and solutions-focused, they’re much more likely to listen to what you have to say.

Prepare for Practicalities

It’s easy to get caught up in the big emotional and legal picture, but don’t forget the basics:

• Arrive early (whether attending in person or remotely)

  
  

• Bring copies of your documents

  
  

• Dress smartly – not for fashion, but out of respect for the formality of the court

  
  

• Make childcare arrangements – unless you've been told to bring children to court, they should not attend

And if your hearing is remote, make sure you have a quiet and private space, a good internet connection, and any documents within reach.

Take Notes and Ask for Clarification

It’s completely acceptable to bring a notepad and take notes during the hearing. If you don’t understand something that’s said, it’s okay to ask the judge politely to explain or repeat it. This is your case, and you are entitled to understand what’s happening and the court’s decisions.

Support for Litigants in Person: You’re Not Alone

Just because you’re not represented doesn’t mean you can’t get help. There are organisations offering guidance and support to litigants in person, such as:

• Support Through Court

  
  

• Advicenow

• Advocate (formerly Bar Pro Bono Unit)

• HMCTS's resources for "Litigants in person in the Family Justice system"

  
  

• Resolution's "Top tips for representing yourself in court as a litigant in person"

Some litigants in person also bring a McKenzie Friend with them to court – a trusted individual who can sit beside them, take notes and offer quiet support and assistance. While a McKenzie Friend may not speak unless granted permission by the judge, they can help you stay calm and focused.

With support, you don’t have to face it alone.

Final Thoughts

Self-representation in family court isn’t necessarily easy - but it is possible to make a strong, credible impression with the right preparation. Judges are not expecting you to be legally perfect - they're expecting you to be respectful, focused, and willing to engage with the process.

Judges are not expecting you to be legally perfect - they’re expecting you to be respectful, focused, and willing to engage with the process.

Present your case with clarity. Focus on the issues and the matters the court will consider relevant. And remember: your voice matters, even if you’re standing alone.

Preparing for family court without a solicitor can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone. Whether you need help drafting your documents, understanding court expectations, or someone to accompany you as a McKenzie Friend, I can help. Let’s work together to make sure your voice is heard clearly and confidently. Get in touch to talk about how I can support you.